Its all in the chase!!

Many times in my dating adventures, I’ll get a girl’s phone number… we’ll talk for a few days and it will fizzle. There could be many reasons for this and we’ll explore that more in a later blog post, however, this one is simply about the pursuit of happiness.

What is it to be chased? It’s pretty simple, really. We want to feel wanted, desired, and needed. It a basic human need. The chase can be SO much fun that… sometimes… the relationship dies when the chase is over. The idea of wanting can overwhelm the feeling of having.

Chasing isn’t always fun, though. The song “I want you to want me” by Cheap Trick comes to mind here. If you haven’t heard the song before, go listen to it. The lyrics are very simplistic, musically the song is a bit campy, but it’s the message that resonates with people and is the reason for its popularity. Its about someone being in a relationship, in which, they are not fulfilled in that respect. The very real need to feel wanted in any relationship we have.

The fun in chasing comes from the idea that the person being chased is just barely out of reach. That… with a little effort… the person chasing will catch up and win the prize. If that “light at the end of the tunnel” isn’t there… the chase becomes tiring and cumbersome and then eventually… will altogether stop.

The best part of the chase is not even in catching the person. It’s the moments right before where you can see the hard work paying off and you’re finally able to close that gap… or what I like to call the “Anticipation of the catch.”

In simple terms, if you don’t stay within reach… if you don’t show the one chasing you that you WANT them to chase you…. they will stop at some point. That’s the risk of the game. Ask them about themselves, send the good morning text first once in a while. Let someone see they are gaining ground, and the chase can be very thrilling thing and can lead to a very exciting new relationship!

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Let me set up a scenario for you. Boy meets girl… boy and girl really like each other… and they get involved. Great, right?? Well… lets say boy…. has a complication. A recent prior relationship… A World of Warcraft account…an upcoming long vacation… whatever it might be… and decides.. he needs to wait before entering this new “relationship” and resolve something else first. He really likes this new girl… so he doesn’t want to end things, just hit the pause button. Maybe he asks her to wait, or maybe he just ends things temporarily with a promise he’ll be back very soon.

Now… some of you might be applauding this boy. One could argue that he needs to get his affairs in order before entering something new. I’m not posting this to debate right or wrong…. at least not on this post. What I want to do is illustrate the effects of hitting the pause button on most new relationships.

Close your eyes for a minute (not too long…you need to finish reading!) and imagine you are 14 years old again. You are on your trusty bicycle and you’re headed to your best friends house! You haven’t seen them in a good while and are so excited… possibly even elated! Your mind is whirring with all the things you will be or could be doing for the next 24 hours! If you were like me, you got out of there for the weekend on grade card day before dad came home…adding to the excitement.

Now…early in your trek…. you come across a hill. Its a pretty large one. This isn’t a surprise… you’ve made this trip before. You’ve come up to this small mountain with all the natural speed you can muster. Maybe you even stand up and teeter your bike back and forth to add leg power to the pedaling. Your muscles strain the further you go, you feel fatigued, sweat beads down your face as you push yourself…but you have a singular purpose….and eventually you make it up the hill and reach your friends house without further incident! Woot!!!

That’s how it normally goes. How it’s supposed to go. Although sometimes…. something happens. Halfway up the hill… something causes you to pause for a minute. Some sort of complication has occurred and you have to stop. You’ve lost all momentum. You can’t just get right back on your bike and resume pedaling. Not on this hill. You have to walk your bike up the rest of the way.

Entering a relationship is very much like this hill. You come up to it with all this hope, excitement and fervor… and you need every bit of it to get through the challenges. Every new relationship presents several challenges as 2 people get to know each other in ways that few people get to know one another. So many things can derail it early on that a union relies on the momentum and chemistry to get over that initial hill.

If you hit the pause button in that process… you will lose that momentum. Maybe you can get things going again…. but it will take longer, it will be slower…and take much more work. However, 9 times out of 10…. the relationship will fail early on. There are too many options for boy and for girl that it’s so much easier for one or the other to move on.

Again… I’m not trying to debate on right or wrong here. Boy probably should have handled his business before dating girl. If girl, however, really likes boy… she will help him through whatever complications and it will only build a stronger relationship. If you like her/him… don’t take that chance! Be honest with them and if they are willing to meet you halfway and help you up that hill….you are in for one hell of an awesome ride the rest of the way. Enjoy it.

 

Welcome

Hello! I wanted to say a quick “Hello” and welcome you to my blog. Thank you for your interest in reading this and deciding to either follow me or throw you your computer out of a 3 story window based on what you read.

A little about me… My name is Patrick, am in my mid 30’s, and have always wanted to write….something.

It really started with my interest in writing a Star Wars book as a boy. I had all these great ideas and was going to be the next George Lucas! Then a friend of mine came along and was all “Well… you should probably read all the existing novels first.” Seemed like a good idea and by the time I read the last one (this was in the height of the expanded universe days) I was…. in my early 30’s and lost all ambition to write my Star Wars novel.

In the meantime… I attempted another Science fiction novel…an autobiography… and a book about relationships. However, I could never get passed the first 5 chapters before I lost interest. If I put it down and came back to it later… I tore up what I had written and rewrote.

Recently… after all but giving up on the idea of writing… I realized….holy crap! I can just blog things and still tell the stories I wanted to tell. This blog has no theme except… what’s in my head! lol. There will be posts about stories I think is funny, relationship advice, and just general thought, opinions, and feelings I have about life and events around me.

I don’t expect much to come from this except having about 2 followers that I will probably have to force to read this and executing a longtime passion of mine. I will probably post semi frequently as I have all sorts of things rolling around up there… If one person enjoys this, then… Ive gotten my monies worth out of it!

So sit back, get yo’ popcorn ready, and enjoy the ride…as I open a door that’s been closed for so long… and let you all in to the world that is mine.

-Patrick